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Body & Brains: Looking At Sex Workers Beyond the Physical Appeal

It is hard to look at someone who makes money trading their looks any different, but what if actually there is more?


Blog Post Written By: MelRose Michaels


For the cliche mind, you probably think this is another attempt at justifying sex work.


It’s not. Because sex work doesn’t need justification.


The truth is that regardless of how you earn a living, someone somewhere always will have a problem with your profession. But for me as a person, this is actually music to my ears as I get my work done each day and move forward as a proud Entrepreneur.


I am glamorous, they say. Another truth. My office dress code is hot. I wear makeup like a goddess. I’ve worked for my body and for the skills I’ve got.


I’m a sex worker. My brains are part of my trade but I invest in my body, too. That is a fact that most people overlook when they look at sex workers. Our appeal is not just on the physical, it goes over and above that…



WHY SEX WORK?


Lets begin with why I’m in this industry as an individual.


Like any other adult who has needs, to make a living, to thrive, to have funds and to have that sense of fulfillment. While it is true that a lot of sex workers have made that career choice due to their dire financial situations, this does not necessarily mean it is a reserve occupation for the desperate. I feel it is work and a profession like any other.


It is an unpopular career choice, but a valid income source - a service so noble that only the bold dare into it.


"You only need to be attractive"


Separating sex work and romantic involvement is indeed extreme mental fete. To the more reserved people, sex is considered an act of affection and is traditionally reserved for romantic partners.


Yet, there are clients with whom strong connections are made. It is possible to develop strong intimate connections with clients, but things must remain professional - furthermore it is just a job…


Remember as a sex worker, as much as you are attractive and seemingly an adorable goddess, you must have your boundaries and most importantly, not overstep.



Is it all about sex?


There is the million dollar question; is sex work all about sex?


If you have been in sex work for more than a day you already know that some clients are not at all interested in anything physical with you. Some people are after vibrant and stimulating conversations, others are just are aroused by visuals only. And that is where the answer to the million dollar question lies - NO, sex work is not all about sex.


You see, as a sex worker your job is to bring fulfilment, but you need an open mind and some diverse thinking. It is not all about the physical, as it goes, we charm tables with our eloquence, our mannerisms bring fulfilment, our perspectives, brains and knowledge too.

That is beyond the curves I carry and the pretty eyes...


I’ll admit, over time I have made very strong connections with clients who have become acquaintances and even long-term friends.


I’ve entered into amazing and really productive business deals with former clients, but I have to admit it all started them appreciating me and looking beyond the physical.


Rejection in sex work


It is not unusual for a client to change their mind when you are already at the venue. It is completely normal.


It could be a simple video call. Or it can be a fancy hotel room. They just put up a no-show. And honestly I have to admit, it always makes me laugh when they throw their ugly apology - the same old narrative, “It's not you, it's me. You are gorgeous but…”


The point is, deals go wrong all the time, in any type of business. And rejection is really part of sex work and a stark reality you need to get ready for..


Even the harder reality to handle is that society views sex workers in a different light. You face rejection from amenity providers when they get a hint of how you make your living. Your hairdresser or even the nurse at the hospital will roll their eyes in a funny way once you reveal your profession.


For sex workers, it is sometimes even difficult to make friends outside of our proessional circles.



Professional services in sex work


Don’t we do it all?


Sex work begins from the preparations long before a client books your service. It’s a skill you master over time. Like in any other business, proper planning is crucial and it is a basic skill every Entrepreneur must possess.


As a sex worker, you must conduct a market research and identify platforms you can best thrive. You must find the best way to establish a brand among other professionals. You must find a way to survive and attract clients in a sea of competitors and unforgiving cut-throat competition.


As sex worker, you must become a marketer by default.


Unfortunately, the stigma that comes with a career in the sex industry causes people to look away or look at you differently. It’s a sad and unfortunate reality, but I mean, we all just want to live good lives goddamnit!


For the umpteenth time, yes, we lead perfectly normal lives


I’m yet to find a city where people walk with badges showing their professions.


So yes, I go to church. I take my nephews to the park and I walk my dog every morning. I have my doctors appointments and have amazing barbecues with friends over the weekends.


I pick up coffee when going to meet clients. Sometimes, I even get them an iced tea to break the ice.


I mean, I'm just a girl with a perfectly normal life. Like you.



There surely must be another job you can do..


Bob was enrolled at the toy factory at 19. He was looking for a way to earn and save for culinary school. He worked 8-hour shifts and double shifts on weekends. Definitely, it was a boring way to spend the last year of your teenage years but who cares?


At 33, Bob is now a proud toy company franchise owner. His passion was culinary arts but his life would be about toys. He didn’t attend culinary school but he owns a Vietnamese restaurant.


Let's get practical. We cannot all be what we dreamt of. Life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, lemon essence or lemon cake.


Working in the sex industruy is a choice we make and choose to stick with. When you achieve excellence at what you do, I doubt you want to start over at a completely new field. They say consistency is key and I’d hate to have an inconsistent life.


Sex work is here to stay. It's only right you acknowledge the intricacies around it that are everything else but the physical.


Infact, next time you meet a sex worker, ask for some business tips and you just might learn what your business school professor forgot to teach you!


XOXO,





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#PsychologyofBeautyPerception #SexWorkandFeminism



Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in the blog post above are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of SexWorkCEO or MelRose Michaels. Any content provided by our bloggers or authors are of their opinion and are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual or anyone or anything.



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